Updated: Sep 28, 2021
To those of you who do not know me... welcome! Here at thejennspirit.com I share my creative projects that explore my life stories. I highlight concepts throughout theses stories that provide me inspiration.
The October Project is a project that is very close to my heart. Where do I even start?
Buckle up, cause it's going to get a bit deep....
Let's reminisce back to Young Jenny
Our family life had changed one odd day when my Mom came back sitting in the kitchen crying. She tried to hold it all together when my sister and I came into the room. I sat on her lap and she started crying even more. I don't remember what was said in the conversation, but all I knew was that the mood in the room was not good. The new news was not to be celebrated.
That feeling of not knowing while trying to navigate through an uneasy, negative situation, sums up how I was involved in this life changing matter. From then on, changes of my Mother's health gradually got worse and worse.
You know, a lot of my friends will say that I tend to forget a lot... and perhaps I do. My childhood memories are scattered, yet the memories I do retain are very vivid. As I look back at my upbringing, I wonder if the "lack of memories" may be a response to these traumatic moments. Avoidance was how I reacted. Maybe I just didn't want to remember?
As I try to bring up the memories of my childhood, I flashback to different stages of my Mom's health. She was doing her normal routine one day, then sitting more on the couch the next. I would bring her most of what she needed and place it beside her vomit bucket. Then came the cane... then came more puking in the car... placing a nursing home bed in the office... then not seeing her at all as she eventually went to a palliative care center.
The more and more I remember, the more pain I still feel to this day.
Now you all are probably wondering what was going on? Yes, my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 34.